


Reflection

by Silvaimagery



Series: Wings [1]
Category: BTS (Bangtan Sonyeondan), K-pop, RPF - Fandom
Genre: A/B/O, AU, Comfort, Family, Fluff, Friendship, Love, M!preg, M/M, Romance, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vmon - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-24 16:05:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8378635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silvaimagery/pseuds/Silvaimagery
Summary: He had a lot to be thankful for: the success of their group, his members, his parents, their loyal fans.  But what he never forgot to thank god for every day was Taehyung and the life they had created together.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know. I saw the vid of Tae holding a baby and the way he smiled at Namjoon….it brought up feels. So, I came up with this.
> 
> Title from Namjoon’s solo song in their ‘Wings’ album.

Honestly, Bangtan Sonyeondan was not supposed to be composed of alphas and omegas. It was supposed to be composed solely of alphas. We were going for a rougher style and we were looking for rappers. 

Once the logistics had been figured out and the sound we wanted to go with had been established, I began working on music. Because I wrote a lot of my own songs, I was asked to write for the group. I wish I could say money wasn’t a factor but I knew what it felt like to  
starve. Because I would be writing and composing, a big share of the profit would be coming to me.

The first few songs that I wrote and composed were hip hop style with a 90’s feel to it. I wanted to take listeners back to the era when hip hop was at the top in the music business.

My friend Hunchul and I were the first members to join. Then Ikje, Yoongi and Hoseok came in. 

The fact that Hoseok had been chosen was surprising since he was not even a rapper. He and I got along just fine and I began teaching him about the style of music we were going to be doing and he began to learn and honing his own rapping skill. He was really good at it and listening to him, no one would know he was a beginner.

Out of all of us, the one who stood out the most was Min Yoongi. He had been a part of the underground rapping scene for years and the way he rapped was amazing. His skill was beyond my own and he was also very good at writing and composing, which helped me out a lot and I was more than happy to share the profits with him as long as he continued to create such powerful songs.

My friend Donghyuk also joined, which made me very excited since he and I knew each other since middle school. The last member to join was Hyosang. 

It felt like a family and I was happy that we were all going to be working together. Which is why it was a big surprise to me when they began to leave the group.

Ikje left first, then Donghyuk and Hyusang followed. Hunchul, who was supposed to be the leader of our group, is the last to leave at the end of 2011. It was a hard blow to me.

I was assigned as the leader since I was the only left who had been here from the beginning.

It is not the role I wanted but there was no other choice.

Jungkook was brought in right after the others quit and though he is a good rapper, his vocals are even better and we all thought it would be a shame if we didn’t utilize his talent. That is when the concept of the group changed and we started looking for vocalists.

It was hard to find alphas who had the talent Jungkook did and Yoongi suggested we open the audition up to omegas.

I felt like I couldn’t say no for two reason. One: I didn’t want to imply that omegas didn’t have the talent to be a part of our group, Yoongi was proof that they did. Second: I didn’t want to make Yoongi feel like the only reason he got into this group was because we had all been too stupid to realize that he was an omega.

It’s funny how both of my reasons revolve around Yoongi but it’s the truth. Also, I didn’t want to get on his bad side. 

Hoseok and Jungkook were against it, though they did not voice their concerns out loud at the meeting we had with Bang Shihyuk. 

What does it mean when three alphas are afraid of one omega? People would say we were cowards to bow down to an omega but I call it being smart. The wrath of Min Yoongi was no joke.

Jin and Taehyung were the first omegas we recruited.

I knew I was in trouble the moment I met Taehyung. He was shy and quiet and I just wanted to cuddle with him.

He was really close with Jin and he spent the majority of this time with him. He was such a good kid and he really wanted to learn how to rap. It gave me an opportunity to get closer to him.

He didn’t speak much when we were together but he listened well and he was very good at memorizing lyrics.

He was not very good at rapping but it was still an opportunity to know him better. I learned he was an only child and that he had been raised by his grandparents. He’d been in love once but the alpha who held his affection never returned his feelings. He’d been asked out twice by other alphas but it had been through text so he had not taken it seriously. 

His smile makes him look like a little kid and his eyes are so beautiful. I never knew I could love eyelashes so much but his were perfect.

I was in love and I knew it no matter how much I tried to deny it.

I thought that the worst I had to suffer was hearing his soulful voice but then Bang Shihyuk said that since the concept had changed, we now had to learn choreography. I actually thought I would die. Not because I was rhythm challenged but because I now had to watch Taehyung move his body in sinful ways.

Hoseok suggested we bring in dancers and though a few made the cut, they were just not a good fit. 

At the end of 2012, Jimin came into the group and the dynamic of our household changed.

Taehyung found a friend and it was like a switch had been turned on inside of him. The Taehyungie I had met was gone and in his place was this whirlwind who liked to cause trouble and escape from the loft with his best friend in tow.

I wanted to hate Jimin for it but Taehyung’s laughter always made me forgive him. Until I realized that Taehyung’s smiles were always for Jimin, then I hated him again.

I don’t think I’ve ever been jealous of an omega before.

I watch Jimin and Taehyung laugh, their bodies automatically bumping together as they lean on each other.

“Taehyung.” I say.

He looks at me.

“Let’s get married.”

“What?” Yoongi asks frowning at me.

“What is he talking about?” Jimin asks Taehyung.

“It might not be a bad idea.” Jungkook tells Jimin.

Jimin glances at Jungkook before looking at me.

“Why should I marry you?” Taehyung asks me.

“Can we talk about this?” Jin asks. 

“I think we should.” Hoseok says.

I ignore them.

I walk closer to Taehyung and I take his chin between my thumb and forefinger.

“Because I’m in love with you.” I tell him.

He smiles at me.

“Okay.” He nods.

I smile at him.

He puts his arms around my neck.

“Well? Are you going to kiss me or not?” He asks.

I chuckle.

“I don’t know if I love or hate this new side of you.” I say before pressing my mouth to his.

We got married that summer, in May, and he gave birth to our daughter on February 2013, five months before our debut.

His parents were beyond pissed and mine were worried. I know it was irresponsible of us to have a child right now when we were still just trainees and we didn’t know what the future held for us, if our group would even make it or not. 

It was a risk and even more stress for us but we loved each other and I wasn’t going to tell my omega to abort our child.

Of course Taehyung was ecstatic and he had never looked as beautiful as when he held our child in his arms. We shared photos and updates with our fan base. They sent in messages of support and congratulations on our Facebook and twitter accounts. 

The members and I were concerned about Taehyung participating in our debut but we knew he could not sit this one out. It was our first promotions and we all had to be present. 

He was very good at memorizing the choreography and since he had watched us practice it many times before, he was ready by the time we stood on our first stage.

He went on birth control once we debuted to prevent any more unexpected pregnancies. I didn’t like it but it was for the best. We could not afford to have another child right now and Taehyung, who wanted to have twelve kids, was surprisingly very easy to impregnate.

It was very hard to leave our daughter, Joonhyung, with my parents once promotions began but we didn’t have time worry about the baby being alone or of having to cart her everywhere we went. 

We were gone from home a lot and we recorded our second album even before promotions for the first ended. We spent sleepless nights in the studio and in the practice room. It was hard being away from our child for days on end but we had to do it in order to secure a future for her.

Our first album had been accepted very well and we hoped we could expand our fan base with the second. Our fans seem to want more and more of us and we were more than happy to oblige.

We had to do what we could in order to make it in this business, even if it meant smiling when we had nothing more to give or of performing when we just wanted to rest.


	2. Chapter 2

We got a lot of shit from underground rappers who criticized our style of music and us for being ‘sell outs’ and for wearing makeup and fancy clothes. It really pissed me off and it made me even angrier that I had to act cool and unaffected by their comments.

And not only did we have haters to deal with, we also got shit from ‘traditionalists’ who didn’t like the fact that unbonded alphas and omegas were all living together. They claimed that we were endangering our omegas by forcing them to suppress their heats and ignore their natural biological need to create a family. Plus, they criticized Taehyung and me for not being ‘responsible parents’ and for choosing to ‘abandon our child’ just to become ‘idols’.

It really hurt Tae and he started questioning his decision to be a part of the group.

People could talk shit about me all they wanted but they were not going to make my omega feel like shit or try to force him to choose between his career and being a parent.

Responding to their comments on social media would just make things worse so Yoongi suggested that we write a cypher, which we would add to our second album.

It was going to be rappers only because it would have more impact that way and because we wanted to take the attention off of our omegas. We wanted to protect Yoongi too but he is tough as nails and we believed him when he said he could handle it. Besides, we needed him to put the haters in their place. If anyone can mask a ‘fuck you’, it’s Yoongi. 

I wrote what I wanted to say to the fucking haters in like two minutes. The other members were concerned that this would only add fuel to the fire but we had to do something to defend ourselves. Taehyung was really happy that we were not going to just lie down and let people walk all over us.

When the album was released, there were some mixed reviews. There were those who thought we should have just let the matter drop and there were those who commended us for standing up for ourselves. 

I called it a success since we were asked to go to Japan and promote, as well as release some of our songs in Japanese.

“Namjoon.” Tae says sliding into bed beside me.

I put down my tablet and I look at him.

I glance at the crib and I can see Joonhyung sleeping.

I smile before looking at Tae again.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about it and I really think I should quit the group.”

“Tae.”

“Just listen, alright? It’s not just because of what people are saying. I don’t want our daughter to grow up without her parents. I know what it’s like and I hated it. I didn’t understand why my parents weren’t with me and I always thought that it was because they just didn’t love me. I don’t want her to feel that way. I don’t want to look at her one day and not even recognize her.”

I put my arm around him and he rests his head on my chest.

“I get it. And you know I will support you no matter what you decide. I just don’t want you to be influenced by what people are saying. They will always find something to criticize and we can’t live our lives trying to please them. We have to do what we think is right.”

“I know.”

“I feel the same way you do. I don’t want Joon to feel like we’re abandoning her. So how about a compromise?”

“What kind of compromise?”

“You stay in Bangtan and we hire a nanny who can look after her while we are performing.”

He sits up and looks at me.

“You mean that we can bring her with us?”

I nod.

“That way we can still see her and be with her every day.”

He throws his arms around my neck and I pull him onto my lap.

“I love you.” He says.

“I love you too.”

**************************

The more our fame grew, the more shit people said about us. They criticized our omegas for being too thin, they criticized the interactions between the members as inappropriate, they claimed our relationships were for publicity only, that our dance moves were too provocative, that our omegas were selling themselves, that we didn’t care for or about our omegas the way an alpha should.

The list was endless.

It got tiring to listen to all the complaints that we just learned to ignore them.

By the time we reached our third year as a group, we had become masters at keeping our game face on when faced with haters and we learned to be truthful, not only to ourselves but to our fans as well.

We stopped pretending that everything was fine, that we weren’t tired and that we didn’t need time off or that we didn’t have any faults.

We were human and in order for us to stand true to the music and the image we portrayed, we had to stay true to ourselves. We had to admit we had faults, that we didn’t succeed at everything we tried or that we always had the answers.

We spoke out more about our frustrations and our packed schedules that didn’t leave us much time to sleep. We spoke about our concerns as professionals and as individuals. We talked about our hopes and dreams, about what we wanted from life.

We were more honest about our family and the tensions that sometimes existed in our group. Yeah, we loved each other but it wasn’t always easy and as seven people with our opinions, it was natural we disagree from time to time.

I think that being truthful and exposing our real personalities with our fans made them see us as people and not idols. It brought us closer and we were able to share in our victories on a more personal level.

Taehyung and I shared our struggles as parents with our fans. We shared our fears and frustrations. 

Our ARMY’s stood with us and shared their own concerns as parents and they were our support group when we needed someone to talk to.

I think that is why we were able to become more than just a ‘K-Pop’ group. Our fan base expanded internationally and we soon surpassed all those that had come before us. 

What was more surprising was that our ‘Cyphers’ became the most popular and the most requested songs by fans.

They had been composed as a means to fight back against the haters but our fans saw them as anthems that spoke against oppression and stereotypes.

Who knew our ‘fuck you’ to the haters would be so popular?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The coming chapter will have more dialogue, I just had to establish a base.


	3. Chapter 3

“I got it!” Taehyung shouts, the door banding shut behind him.

Hoseok stands, his loud cheer making me wince.

I look at Tae.

“You got it?” Jimin asks excited.

“I knew you could do it!” I say pulling him into my arms. “You are going to be amazing.”

I kiss his smiling mouth.

“They want me to start as soon as we finish our promotions for our ‘Young Forever’ album.” He says.

The guys congratulate him.

“When will it air?” Jungkook asks.

“If everything goes according to the schedule, then at the end of the year.”

“Our Taehyungie is going to be a drama star.” Yoongi says.

“Let’s not get carried away.” Tae chuckles.

“Soon you’ll be on the big screen.” Jimin says. “I feel proud. I did a good job raising you.” Jimin sighs.

Tea laughs and shoves his friend aside.

“Look who just woke up.” Jin says bringing Joon over.

“Hello my love.” Tae says taking her into his arms.

“So. How did it go?” Jin asks.

“I got it.” Tae tells him.

“I told you you would! Ha! Always listen to eomma. Come here, I’m so proud of you kid.” Jin says pulling Tae into a side hug.

“Thanks.”

“I think a celebration dinner is in order. What should we eat?” I ask.

“Taehyung should pick.” Hoseok says.

“No Burger King!” We all say at the same time.

Tae laughs.

“I told you guys, I just craved that when I was pregnant. How about Chinese? It’s been a while since we had some.”

“Get the menu from that place we like.” Jin tells Jimin.

“We should write it down. Last time we ordered the wrong things and forgot others.” Jungkook says.

“I’ll jot it down.” Yoongi says.

It took us half an hour to order which was a lot shorter than it usually did. I think we were finally maturing.

It was a good afternoon with the guys, all of us sitting together without anyone rushing off to do this or that. And it had been a while since Tae and I got to spend a whole night together. 

“I’m so happy. I wish it could stay like this all the time.” He says quietly.

I caress his bare arm.

“I do too.”

I kiss him softly.

“And we finally get to spend our days with Joon. Promotions will be over in a week and my hours will be steady during filming. It will be a good change of pace.”

“Hmm. I’m so happy you are finally doing what you wanted to do for a while.”

“I am too.”

We lie in relaxing silence for a few minutes.

“We should get dressed before that cuddle bug comes crawling into bed with us.” I tell him.

He chuckles.

“She gets that from you, you know.”

“You’re just cuddly.” I say squeezing him.

He laughs.

“Taehyung.”

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

I kiss him lazily before forcing myself to get up and put my pajamas on.

“It will do us all good to finally relax and regroup.” I sigh as I lie back down.

He rolls on his side towards me and I pull him closer.

He rests his head against my chest and I kiss his head.

“I’m looking forward to eating dinner at home and spending the afternoon with you and Joonie.”

“Me too, babe.”

****************************

“We’re sending you guys on a ten day trip to Europe. It will be televised and you guys will be going on your own, without help from the managers or the assistants.”

I stare at Sejin.

“What?”

“The company will be paying for tickets and such but you will have an allowance to use for food and other things you might need. You can’t use your own personal money on this trip, you must stick to the budget.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No.”

I cover my face with my hands.

“What about Tae? He just started filming his drama.” I ask looking at him.

“He will leave a day behind the rest of you but we have asked that the nine days free from filming be pushed up so that he can participate.”

Tae was not going to be happy about this.

“And Joon? Can we take her along?”

“You guys won’t be staying in a single location for too long so you can’t bring any unnecessary items or luggage, just what you can carry.”

“She is not an item or luggage.”

“That is not what I meant. Traveling with a child is not easy and you would need to bring a lot of things for her. Plus, I was told that the whole point of this is to show the seven of you on vacation.”

“So we have to leave her behind.” I sigh.

“Sorry.”

“Are you staying behind?”

“Yes. I will remain at the house and I will be more than happy to look after Joonie while you guys are away.”

“Thank you.”

“I asked that they give you guys some time to rest before they sent you abroad but fans have been asking for more reality program with you guys at the center since you finished filming ‘Rookie King’.”

“I understand.”

“The camera crew will leave right behind and they will start recording as soon as we get to the house.”

“Are they going to come with us on this trip?”

“For some of it. For others you guys will do the filming.”

“This is going to be fun.” I say sarcastically.

A ball of dread was already starting to form in the pit of my stomach.

He smiles and pats my hand.

“Don’t worry, I’ll back you up.”

“Thanks.”

This was really going to fuck up our schedule.

Taehyung was recording his drama, Jungkook had just gone back to school, Jiminie was taking vocal lessons, Hoseok was working on choreographing a dance for another group, Yoongi was working on his mixtape and I had just begun to work on our next album.

On top of that, Yoongi was three months pregnant and it was difficult enough for him to participate in promotions. 

“You better tell the editing team to be prepared to beep out all the cursing.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Alright everyone, gather around.” I say walking into the dining room.

The guys come in and they take their seats around the table.

“What are the cameras doing here?” Jungkook asks taking a seat.

“You guys are leaving for ten days.” The director says.

“What the fuck do you mean we are leaving for ten days?” Hoseok asks.

“Hey.” Tae reprimands.

Hoseok glances at Joon.

“Sorry.” He says.

“I don’t know if I’m up for this. I haven’t been feeling that good lately.” Yoongi says.

Jin rubs his back.

Yoongi had been sick, not only with morning sickness but with the flu as well.

“We will make sure you are comfortable and if you ever need medical attention, we will provide you with it.”

“So, where are we going?” Jimin asks.

The PD puts the brochures down on the table and we each take one.

“The first stop is Norway’s Bergen. First, read the book and figure out what you will do, but the most important things is packing. Because you will be visiting different countries, you won’t be able to check in any luggage. You must only take what is necessary in a carry-on bag.”

“Wait. Are we packing right now?” Jin asks.

“Yes. You have fifty minutes before we have to leave for the airport.”

“What about Joon?” Tae asks.

“She’s going to be staying here with me.” Sejin says.

Taehyung glances at me and thankfully he doesn’t say anything more.

“You’re not coming?” Jin asks.

“You guys are on your own for this trip.” The PD says.

“What about Tae? He’s filming his drama.” Yoongi says.

“He will be leaving tomorrow and his schedule has already been revised to accommodate this trip.”

“I guess we should start packing.” Jimin says standing.

We leave the dining room and we go to our rooms to start picking out what we are going to take.

Tae grabs my arm and leads me to the bathroom where we have some privacy from the cameras.

“We are leaving our daughter behind for ten days?”

“I didn’t know about this either.”

“I don’t know if I can do this.”

“I want her with us too but I don’t want to put this stress on her.”

“I know.”

Inside I was dying about the fact that we had to leave our baby behind but I had to be strong for Tae. 

The alpha inside of me wanted to rebel but I had to think of the rest of the guys. I couldn’t be selfish and put us above them. 

It was times like this that I really wanted to punch Shihyuk in the face. But then I remember the power and freedom he had given us, not only as a group and as musician but as individuals as well. Sometimes it helped to calm me down. Sometimes.

“Look. Just think of this as our honeymoon, alright? We never got to go away on a trip, now we can finally do it. And Joon is going to be fine here with Sejin. She loves him and he’s a responsible adult. He does a good job of looking out for us, right? And it’s not like we can’t call her.”

He sighs.

“Alright. I’m going to do this but only because we don’t have a choice and because you got me with the whole honeymoon thing. But I expect sex every night.”

“I will do my best to fulfill that wish.”

He smiles and I kiss him.

“Come on. Help me pack.”

**************************

“I’m going to miss you.” Tae says kissing me.

“I’m going to miss you too. You. Come here.” I take Joon in my arms. “Be good for your uncle Sejin, alright?”

“I’ll be good, papa.”

“That’s my girl. I love you.”

“I love you.” She says.

“Give me a kiss.”

She kisses my cheek and I give her a long hug before handing her back to Tae.

“Be safe.” Tae tells me.

“I will. I’ll see you in Bergen.”

I kiss him again.

“Go on.” He tells me.

“Bring me a present.” Joon says.

I chuckle and I kiss her cheek.

“Yes, my little alpha.” I tell her.

She waves at me and I walk out of the house with a heavy heart.

When we get to the airport, I send Tae a message letting him know that we had gotten in alright.

All we had to do now was check ourselves in and after some trial and error, we finally get it done.

When we get to Amsterdam, I send Tae a message to let him know that we had arrived safely and that we are catching our connecting flight.

I hope he is getting some rest.

He assures me that he is fine but I don’t really believe him.

I was glad to know that at least he wasn’t all alone at the house.

“Is Tae really coming?” Jimin asks me one we board the plane that will take us all the way to Bergen.

“Of course he is. Why?” I ask.

“We were texting a few minutes ago and he was talking like he wasn’t going to come.”

“He has to come.” Jin says.

I wanted to call Taehyung but I can’t since we already boarded the plane.

Once we land two hours later, I call Tae but he doesn’t answer the phone.

It was eleven thirty in the morning here and there was a seven hour difference in time. So it was six thirty at night in Korea. He is probably eating dinner or in the shower. 

I leave him a message and I really hope he gets back to me before he boards the plane.

I guess all I could do now was wait until he called me or management called to tell me that Tae wasn’t coming.

My stomach is in knots as we have lunch.

I really do hope Tae doesn’t back out on me. The guys had complained about having to put everything on hold for this but once we actually got here, I think we all realized just how much we needed to get away from everything.

It sunk in that this was our first official vacation as a group and the guys got more and more excited as we walked around the city.

I just wished Tae and Joon were here with us. It was pretty obvious that we were missing a member and it gave us a bittersweet feeling.

Hoseok was loud on his own but he needed Tae to help him liven things up.

I check my phone every fifteen minutes but he doesn’t answer my texts or my message.

Jimin puts his hand on my arm.

“He’ll come. Tae wouldn’t pass this up.”

“He has a kid. It’s different when you have others to think about.” Yoongi tells him.

“I wish we could have brought her with us. And that other members of our team could have come too. The managers work just as hard as we do, they deserve a vacation.” Jin says.

“They are having one right now.” Jungkook says and we chuckle.

“And I am sure our assistants are also celebrating that they get ten days off.” Hoseok says.

“I really miss Taehyung.” Jimin says with a sigh. “He should be here with us.”

I put my arm around him.

“He will be here.” I assure.


	5. Chapter 5

“I see Taehyung.” The camera man says.

“Tae is here?!” Jimin asks.

“Where?” I ask.

“He’s waiting at the exit.”

My heart pounds in my chest and I can’t wait to get out of this cable car.

“This feels like a reunion.” Hoseok says.

I hurry out once we dock and I sprint towards him.

He smiles at me and I pick him up my arms.

“Tae!” Jimin says. 

“You missed some fun.” Jungkook tells him.

I set Tae back down on his feet and I kiss him.

I can hear the shutter of a camera and I know Jungkook is taking pictures.

“I’m so glad you made it.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t call you but I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Well, I am surprised.”

He chuckles.

I move so that Jimin can hug his friend.

“Where is Yoongi?” Tae asks.

“He stayed behind to rest.” Hoseok says.

“Did you wait long?” Jin asks.

“No. Do you want to see what I was doing while I waited for you guys?”

“What?” I ask.

He backs away and turning on some music, he starts dancing.

Hoseok’s face reddens as people watch.

“Let’s get dinner.” He says walking away in a hurry.

I laugh.

Yes, our group was complete.

****************************

“I can’t find my passport.”

“Namjoon.” Tae says.

“I don’t know where I left it.”

“You have to be kidding.” Yoongi says.

“If you lost your passport then that’s the end.” Jungkook says.

“Where did you put it?” Tae asks standing to help me find it.

“I kept switching bags earlier but now I’m missing one bag.”

“Is there anything else missing?” Hoseok asks.

“No.”

“Then we need to check at the hotel. Maybe you left it behind there.” Jin says.

“We’ve been losing a lot of stuff. Let’s never go on a trip by ourselves again.” Hoseok says.

Jimin and Yoongi laugh.

I’ll laugh later when I find my passport. Without it I know I’m screwed and I really didn’t want to cut this trip short.

“You’ll just have to go the Korean Embassy tomorrow and get your traveling documents.” Yoongi tells me.

I sigh feeling frustrated.

Out of everything we had misplaces so far this one took the cake.

Shit.

Of course, now this meant that I was going to miss tomorrow’s trip to Gamla Stan.

Tae puts his arm around my waist.

“There is nothing else to do. I have to get my travel documents and hope that we can continue on this journey.” I say.

I really couldn’t sleep that night, I was so worried.

Tae rolls over and hugs me.

I put my arm around him.

“You need to sleep. You have to leave early tomorrow.” He murmurs.

“I know. I just can’t.”

“Everything will be fine.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“Come on. Let me help you take your mind off of it. You promised me sex every night.”

I smile before looking at him.

“Taehyung, does it look like the right time right now? I’m having a crisis here.”

“A promise is a promise.” He smiles.

I really can’t resist him when he looks at me like that.

I push him onto his back as I roll on my side towards him.

I lean down and kiss him.

“Wait. You’re sick.”

“Yeah. And?”

“That means you can’t take your pill because you’re on medication.”

“It’s only been three days. I’m pretty sure it’s still in my system.”

“Still. You know we can’t risk it.”

“So use a condom.”

“I didn’t bring any.”

He sighs.

“I didn’t know you were going to be off your pill!”

“Fine. Then I guess we’ll have to wait until we can get some.”

“Or I could just pull out.”

He looks at me.

“Do you think that will work?”

“I’m sure it does, right?”

“I don’t know.”

I mull it over.

Okay, it was time to stop thinking about sex and start thinking consequences.

Did I really want to risk it?

“Maybe we should wait. I can always get some before we go on the cruise.”

“I’m sure they sell some on the ship too, right?”

“I don’t know but I can look for a pharmacy tomorrow after I leave the embassy.”

“Deal.”

I kiss him again before pulling him back into my arms.

He falls asleep, his weight against my side a comfort.

I really hoped this worked out.

If I couldn’t continue on I don’t know if the members would also have to go back home or if they would continue on this trip without me.

I shake my head and I try to clear my mind.

I had to get some rest because tomorrow was going to be a long day for me.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter of this installment, thank you for reading.

Taehyung moans loudly and I shush him.

“Ah, seriously? I’m trying to sleep.” Jungkook complains from the bottom bunk.

Jimin giggles and it sets Taehyung off.

“Shut up. You’re ruining the mood.” I tell Tae.

He bites his lip to stop himself from giggling.

“You shut up. I’m tired.” Jungkook says.

“I wasn’t talking to you.” I tell him.

“Can you not talk to us when you’re balls deep inside my best friend?” Jimin says and Tae starts giggling again.

I roll my eyes.

“Fine.”

I move to get off of him but he wraps his arms and legs around me.

“Okay, I’ll stop laughing. Just keep doing what you were doing.”

“The mood is lost with the peanut gallery chiming in.” I tell him.

“They won’t say anything anymore. Right, Jimin?”

“Fine.” Jimin sighs.

“Just kiss me again. Come on.” He urges.

“Can you guys at least whisper or something?” Jungkook asks.

I sigh.

Tae presses his mouth to mine.

“I love you.” He whispers.

“I love you too.”

Trying to be quiet was always a challenge but it added to the excitement.

Tae digs his fingers into my arms and I bite down on my own hand as I come.

Our breathing is too loud but we were satisfied.

“Thank god. I was scared the bed would break.” Jungkook says.

I take off the used condom and I am too lazy to get up and throw it away. Besides, I’m naked and my clothes are somewhere on the floor.

I try to aim for my pants or t-shirt.

“Eww! Something wet landed on me. What is that?” Jimin asks.

I start laughing.

“What?” Tae asks.

The light from Jimin’s phone turns on and I cover my face.

“Is that…?” He shouts in disgust and I can almost see him flaying around as he tries to get out of bed.

“What did you do?” Tae asks elbowing my side.

“I aimed for the floor.”

“That is disgusting!” 

Jimin charges over like a bull and he punches my thigh with all his might.

“Fuck, that hurt!”

“It was supposed to, motherfucker! YOU THREW YOUR USED CONDOM AT ME! I’m going to be sick.”

Jungkook punches the place Jimin had just hit.

“What the fuck!?”

He glares at me before putting an arm around Jimin.

“It’s okay. Just go take a shower, alright? I’ll lend you my sweat pants.”

“Okay.”

Jimin smacks Tae’s arm.

“What did I do?” Tae complains.

“Hey, don’t hit him.” I tell Jimin.

“This is the last time I share a room with either of you.”

He goes into the bathroom, Jungkook following like a mother hen.

Tae and I stare at each other for about two seconds before we start laughing.

**************************

The production cast calls an urgent meeting and we all meet in the room.

“Namjoon.”

“Me? Why are you scaring me?”

“Is he in trouble because he lost his passport?” Tae asks.

“Actually, yes.”

“What?” Jimin asks.

“We planned for all seven of you to finish this trip but it turns out that Namjoon can’t go any further. We had hoped to get you a travel visa with the papers but we were unable to. So, you have to go back to Korea.”

“Really?” Jungkook asks.

“So then I will be leaving early?” I ask.

“I’m sorry. We really had hoped you guys could have finished this journey together.” The PD says.

“No. Don’t be sorry. It’s my fault for losing my passport.” I tell him.

“It just doesn’t feel right to be moving on with this journey without our leader.” Yoongi says.

“So, when do I leave?”

“Once the ship docks, you will be going back to Korea.”

“Okay.”

Taehyung starts crying which really makes me feel like shit.

I put my arm around him.

“Hey. It’s going to be fine.” I tell him.

Jimin becomes emotional too to see his friend crying and Yoongi turns his head away.

“Let’s just enjoy the rest of this day together, huh?” I say.

“Is this a hidden camera prank again?” Jin asks.

“I wish it were.” The PD says.

“I feel really bad that you can’t come with us.” Hoseok says.

“This trip was supposed to be about the seven of us going on vacation.” Jin says.

“Sorry you guys. But there is no one else to blame for my carelessness but me.”

“Yeah, it’s your fault.” Jungkook says and the guys chuckle.

At least the kid was trying to lighten the mood.

“We should just curse.” Hoseok says.

“Jungkook will do it.” Yoongi says.

I look at our youngest member.

“Edit it for us.” Jimin tells the PD.

“Go for it.” Hoseok says nudging Jungkook.

“Let’s be careful.” Jungkook says, his face turning red.

The guys start laughing.

I look at Tae.

He won’t meet my gaze.

I kiss his temple.

“It’s going to be okay, baby. I’ll be able to spend more time with our daughter after all and it’s only going to be three days ahead of the rest of you.”

He nods.

“Take care of yourself for me, alright?”

“I will.” He whispers.

It was heart wrenching to watch Tae be pulled along by the members as they leave to continue the trip.

I wave as Tae looks back at me and I force my smile to be natural. I could not let him see how hard it was for me to stand here and let him go.

“How do you feel?” The cameraman asks me.

“I feel…off. It’s hard to watch the members go on without me. I’m not ready for this trip to end but I have no choice.”

I grab my bag and I head out to find a taxi.

I had to make my way to the airport.

“Thank you for giving us this opportunity.” I say as I put my bag in the taxi. “Please take good care of the members.”

“I will.”

I wave at the camera before getting into the taxi.

Once we leave the camera behind, I allow myself to shed some tears.

The taxi driver doesn’t comment and I am grateful.

***************************

My phone rings and I finish jotting down the lyrics I was working on before reaching over for it.

I am surprised to see that Tae is calling me.

I accept his face time request.

“Hi baby.” I say waving.

I take in his teary eyes and I am instantly on alert.

“What’s wrong?”

He smiles, bright and so happy.

“Namjoon.” He says.

My heart beats faster in my chest.

“Tae. What is going on? Where are you?”

“We are on our way to the airport. I just wanted to see you and tell you something.”

“What?”

He sighs, his smile blinding.

“Namjoon.”

“Just spit it out already! I’m starting to worry.”

He sighs again, the smile never leaving his face.

“Namjoon.”

“Taehyung, I swear to god that if you don’t tell me what the hell is-”

“I’m pregnant.”

I stare at him, my mouth open.

Black spots dance across my vision and for a second, I really do feel like I’m going to pass out.

“Are you….are you sure?”

He nods.

“How do you feel?”

“Amazing.” He says, spreading his arms out wide.

I look to my left where Joon is asleep on the bed.

Of course I thought of having more children with Tae, watching him grow our offspring in his belly was so beautiful. I just didn’t think it would be so soon.

I was torn between exhilaration and uncertainty.

“Say something.” Tae tells me and I look at him.

I smile.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Tell me you’re happy.”

“I am very happy.” I nod. “And I can’t wait for you to come home so that I can show you just how happy I am.”

He chuckles and I touch the screen, caressing his cheek.

“You and our baby come back to me safely.”

“We will. I promise.”

“Thank you.” I tell him.

“For what?”

“For loving me and for giving me a reason to live this life to the fullest.”

The tears in his eyes spill over.

“I love you so much.” He whispers.

He puts his hand to the screen and I touch his fingertips with mine.

“Taehyung.”

“Hmm?”

“Can you please stay with me?”

He chuckles and he wipes his eyes.

“You can’t quote our songs at me.”

“Anything to see you smile again.”

“If you want to see me smile all you have to do is tell me that you love me.”

“I do love you, more than I can put into words.”

His wide smile erases all the worries from my mind and I sigh with the happiness that fills my heart.

“I love you.” I tell him again.

“I love you.” He responds.

“Taehyung?”

“What?”

“I love you.”

He chuckles.

“I love you.” He says.

“How long do we have to listen to this?” Hoseok complains.

Taehyung looks to his left where I am guessing is where Hoseok is sitting.

I chuckle.

“I love you.” I say louder.

Taehyung focuses back on me.

“I love you.” He says with a laugh.

“I love you.”

“Just hang up.” Jimin says trying to take the phone from Tae.

“I LOVE YOU!” I shout.

“I love you.” Tae manages to say through his laughter.

“Say good bye.” Jungkook says.

“TAEHYUNG, I LOVE YOU!”

“I LOVE YOU, NAMJOON!”

The call ends and I sit back in my chair.

“I love you.” I say looking at the picture of Tae that sits on my desk.

I shake my head at myself before standing and going to lie beside our daughter.

One more day before I can hold Taehyung in my arms again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 coming soon.


End file.
